Sunday, October 16, 2011

wisdom and humility

Burning questions: where does confidence come from, and what is wisdom, and where does wisdom come from?
Well, confidence. Its a type of courage, a steady voice, a straight posture, a calm presence. Usually knowledge fuels confidence; knowledge about one’s self-worth and value. Sometimes, just hearing somebody telling you that you can do it. or just encouraging you to be confident is a huge first step in administrating your own confidence.
I’ll share a few things about my own journey to confidence.
I recall very clearly that growing up, a very commonly used term to describe me, used by teachers or adults in general, was “shy”. I was shy. I wouldn’t say much. I do remember thinking. I remember my thoughts back then. so clear.
Whenever getting ready to face a difficult situation, I would ask myself: what’s the worst that can happen? Sometimes, the worst that could happen was definitely bad. failing test, embarrassing myself, losing privileges, possibly death, always thinking about the consequences. but honestly, when I look at all these from the perspective of a believer in the one true God, a citizen of heaven, the perspective we have over death itself, embracing the humility, being humble means freedom, freedom from what others think of you, not trying to impress anybody, staying true to my beliefs, finding out my beliefs, my moral system, who God is, seeking God’s wisdom...

wisdom is confidence in the truth, knowing the truth, discerning between right and wrong, having the answer, knowing the answer. but being wise is so much greater than being smart. wisdom of facts and the hard questions of life. I love referring back to the Proverbs and the Psalms, and now I am discovering the basic wisdom of James, the book of James in the Bible.

I remember praying for wisdom, as if it was the most important thing for me, when I was a teenager. I had no idea this prayer will serve me and be this important, more and more as the time goes by. I know old people were thought of as wise, because they have seen it all, and they judge things, not in a rush, not from a selfish perspective, not for personal gain or power. old people have made mistakes and learned from them. I wanted to be an old person ever since I discovered the taste of wisdom. But why would someone seek wisdom so fervently?
I know I wanted to do well in school. I wanted to have al the answer. I kept praying for wisdom, more then than I do now.

wisdom is like a river, it’s always fresh, it’s always running. can’t be a still puddle or a lake. it needs currents, it needs challenge. And one can never sit back and jay: now I am wise. It’s just like someone finally taking a deep breath and say: I am so humble. It just doesn’t work that way...
Enjoying the journey, embracing the process. Staying brave and embracing the humbling situations...

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