hugs and the side you initiate them on... seriously.
these past two weeks i caught myself (too late) heading towards the right side to hug people ... my right side. which turns out to be the wrong side.
almost had a few accidents... like nearly kissing people as we were headed towards the same side to hug. hilarious and embarrassing at the same time.
i rarely hug people. it's not quite my thing... maybe i'm out of practice.
just had adelita's sky burrito for dinner after an exhausting friday at work... on christmas eve eve.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
a great day at work
I had a wonderful day today. so fulfilling and happy and rewarding.
a few times i was tempt dot retreat, to preserve my energy, but then i decided to go all out. the apple retail store on the 22nd of december... a crazy busy day, but i took one customer at a time, one interaction at a time, one problem solved at a time...
i smiled and energized my own self... and i don't even remember how i did it.
well, my day started well with the approval of my vacation request. yay for march in romania.
a few times i was tempt dot retreat, to preserve my energy, but then i decided to go all out. the apple retail store on the 22nd of december... a crazy busy day, but i took one customer at a time, one interaction at a time, one problem solved at a time...
i smiled and energized my own self... and i don't even remember how i did it.
well, my day started well with the approval of my vacation request. yay for march in romania.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
what i liked about school
and why i didn't until i discovered some good teacher, or better said they discovered me.
i remember crying myself to sleep because i was so afraid of domnul tudose. an old man teacher, very severe in his demeanor. but he definitely had his favorites and i wasn't one of them. i didn't dress quite nice, i didn't bring him gifts and i was shy. that was the recipe for failure in his books. this stubbornness started to develop in me. i was going to prove him wrong one day. i stopped seeking his approval. i studied hard. i was never an a student. but i always did my homework and i did my best in class.
he gave us tons of homework. every day. i liked that about him. i craved for fair teachers, for demanding teachers, for teachers that pushed us and believed in us. it puzzles me that to this day we accept easier the hard work an athlete has to go through and even regular people work hard to maintain their body health, but they neglect their mind's health. who said its going to be easy to develop your mind? it's like pushups, like marathon training, like sit-ups. shish!
the school system in US is a business. i went to a public school in romania. they are all public schools. and i don't think my agents worried that much about how i'll turn out. they believed in me. and they didn't cut me any slack... except i became so responsible from time to time my parents would say: maybe you should stay home today if you are not feeling too good. or, take a break from studying so much. there must be something wrong with that picture. but i learned to fight my own battles. and i always thought that my parents can't have much of a say in how hard i work or study. they are not the ones who will answer to my teachers. i am.
and i had one teacher in particular. my chemistry teacher in JH. no excuses could fly for him. "why don't you know your lesson for today?" ...my dog ate my notes, my grandma got sick, the lights went out yesterday... nothing would fly. and then. in high school my physics teacher would listen to what excuse you would offer him, keep a few 20 seconds of silence and then say: listen to what you just said to me. and think about what it... we were always lame. for the most part they were strict and demanding and pushing us to the limit. and integrity and unchangeability were things they taught me...
they mocked me when i first transferred to this elite public high school. my physics teacher made me stand up, me and another colleague who transferred. and asked us why were we there for. didn't think how nerdy i would sound but that was the honest through. i said i came to this high school to study. he didn't say anything back. my colleague said she came because she lives just across the street. he mocked her for that answer. i got my fair share of 2 and 3 grades... oh boy! but then my last two years i finished school with 9 and 10.
i loved the challenge.
nobody wants constant approval. what the heck are we supposed to do with constant applause. prizes for participation... that will be the end of us and the school system. excessive kindness... or lack of fair confrontation and challenge. kids have the power to be disrespectful and defying ...because they are never told or taught otherwise. homeschooling is not an option for my kids even though i think i would be a good teacher. but then also paying thousands of dollars for somebody else to teach my kids the word of the day. for peet's sake! i speak several languages and i didn't have to pay any extra money to do so. we are overloaded with possibilities and financial opportunities, with freedom of speech and unlimited access to information and technology and it's all turning against us... we are letting ourselves go... mentally spiritually emotionally. we are not taking charge of who we are and what is our purpose in the world. granted we are more concerned about how we look... and we put in a little more effort in that. but lets be honest, we leave our house with ought talking a last look in the mirror.. kids and adults walking around in pajamas and leggings and unfitting clothes. so i guess no, the majority of us don't care how we look either.
discipline is a long lost concept and word. i remember hearing it every freakin' day at school and at home. funny enough it's spelled almost identical in romanian.
not everything has to be catered to you in a fun way, you can make it fun. you can discover the un in everything you do... heck, not everything has to be fun to be satisfying and fulfilling.
i 6th grade my teacher gave us to solve a whole book of mathematica problems. hundreds upon hundreds. i did a few every day... and i finished the book by the end of the summer. my parents here knew about it. i learned a lot without trying too hard. it's a matter of will and decision to do something.
so bottom line is, what am i going to do when i'll have to send my kids to school? the school system in romania has changed a lot ... for the worse as far as i hear. maybe its fabricated stuff... media exaggerates as well. who knows. nothing is black and white. i just hope we will all take responsibility for who we are and what we do with our lives and stop blaming everybody else for our lack of motivation, happiness, fulfillment, intelligence...
i remember crying myself to sleep because i was so afraid of domnul tudose. an old man teacher, very severe in his demeanor. but he definitely had his favorites and i wasn't one of them. i didn't dress quite nice, i didn't bring him gifts and i was shy. that was the recipe for failure in his books. this stubbornness started to develop in me. i was going to prove him wrong one day. i stopped seeking his approval. i studied hard. i was never an a student. but i always did my homework and i did my best in class.
he gave us tons of homework. every day. i liked that about him. i craved for fair teachers, for demanding teachers, for teachers that pushed us and believed in us. it puzzles me that to this day we accept easier the hard work an athlete has to go through and even regular people work hard to maintain their body health, but they neglect their mind's health. who said its going to be easy to develop your mind? it's like pushups, like marathon training, like sit-ups. shish!
the school system in US is a business. i went to a public school in romania. they are all public schools. and i don't think my agents worried that much about how i'll turn out. they believed in me. and they didn't cut me any slack... except i became so responsible from time to time my parents would say: maybe you should stay home today if you are not feeling too good. or, take a break from studying so much. there must be something wrong with that picture. but i learned to fight my own battles. and i always thought that my parents can't have much of a say in how hard i work or study. they are not the ones who will answer to my teachers. i am.
and i had one teacher in particular. my chemistry teacher in JH. no excuses could fly for him. "why don't you know your lesson for today?" ...my dog ate my notes, my grandma got sick, the lights went out yesterday... nothing would fly. and then. in high school my physics teacher would listen to what excuse you would offer him, keep a few 20 seconds of silence and then say: listen to what you just said to me. and think about what it... we were always lame. for the most part they were strict and demanding and pushing us to the limit. and integrity and unchangeability were things they taught me...
they mocked me when i first transferred to this elite public high school. my physics teacher made me stand up, me and another colleague who transferred. and asked us why were we there for. didn't think how nerdy i would sound but that was the honest through. i said i came to this high school to study. he didn't say anything back. my colleague said she came because she lives just across the street. he mocked her for that answer. i got my fair share of 2 and 3 grades... oh boy! but then my last two years i finished school with 9 and 10.
i loved the challenge.
nobody wants constant approval. what the heck are we supposed to do with constant applause. prizes for participation... that will be the end of us and the school system. excessive kindness... or lack of fair confrontation and challenge. kids have the power to be disrespectful and defying ...because they are never told or taught otherwise. homeschooling is not an option for my kids even though i think i would be a good teacher. but then also paying thousands of dollars for somebody else to teach my kids the word of the day. for peet's sake! i speak several languages and i didn't have to pay any extra money to do so. we are overloaded with possibilities and financial opportunities, with freedom of speech and unlimited access to information and technology and it's all turning against us... we are letting ourselves go... mentally spiritually emotionally. we are not taking charge of who we are and what is our purpose in the world. granted we are more concerned about how we look... and we put in a little more effort in that. but lets be honest, we leave our house with ought talking a last look in the mirror.. kids and adults walking around in pajamas and leggings and unfitting clothes. so i guess no, the majority of us don't care how we look either.
discipline is a long lost concept and word. i remember hearing it every freakin' day at school and at home. funny enough it's spelled almost identical in romanian.
not everything has to be catered to you in a fun way, you can make it fun. you can discover the un in everything you do... heck, not everything has to be fun to be satisfying and fulfilling.
i 6th grade my teacher gave us to solve a whole book of mathematica problems. hundreds upon hundreds. i did a few every day... and i finished the book by the end of the summer. my parents here knew about it. i learned a lot without trying too hard. it's a matter of will and decision to do something.
so bottom line is, what am i going to do when i'll have to send my kids to school? the school system in romania has changed a lot ... for the worse as far as i hear. maybe its fabricated stuff... media exaggerates as well. who knows. nothing is black and white. i just hope we will all take responsibility for who we are and what we do with our lives and stop blaming everybody else for our lack of motivation, happiness, fulfillment, intelligence...
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Saturday, December 17, 2011
white wine
another day at work.
i said before to reinvent yourself. and that saying has been resonating in my head ever since.
how do i reinvent myself?
i have learned from my journey as a christian to refresh my attitude towards things that i like or dislike... and it has proved itself useful. who loves to do chores, or to server or to study for hours every day?
its amazing what ones attitude can change in the outcome of a day.
it almost feels like I'm convincing myself to like something or dislike something else.
the mind is a powerful thing. there is a dissociation between the will power and the likes and dislikes of someone. i fear that there may come a time when i won't be able to tell the different ... who am i, who i want to be or who i really am if i let myself go?
anyway, if we talk about work, it's like a car racing game. not too much nor too little of something. we race in a fast pace life and we ought to take the turns quite fast and smooth... we ought to stay in the race... and i am not competitive. the competition is always within myself.
i worked today. it's saturday december 17.
it was a productive day. gave some positive feedback. had a positive attitude that changed the outcome of some situation. laughed out loud... my colleagues are funny.
i am having a glass of white wine.. and you can tell by the coherence of my note. i am all over the place.
and i am content.
conrad is watching a show. i am waiting for dinner... tomorrow is sunday and shawn is having me share my christmas experiences growing up and how we were content with small or no gifts. to put things in perspective for the young generation.
how can we be more appreciative and grateful for what we have, when nothing stops us from having everything? we indulge at the first inkling of desire... in sweets and electronics and clothes...
i said before to reinvent yourself. and that saying has been resonating in my head ever since.
how do i reinvent myself?
i have learned from my journey as a christian to refresh my attitude towards things that i like or dislike... and it has proved itself useful. who loves to do chores, or to server or to study for hours every day?
its amazing what ones attitude can change in the outcome of a day.
it almost feels like I'm convincing myself to like something or dislike something else.
the mind is a powerful thing. there is a dissociation between the will power and the likes and dislikes of someone. i fear that there may come a time when i won't be able to tell the different ... who am i, who i want to be or who i really am if i let myself go?
anyway, if we talk about work, it's like a car racing game. not too much nor too little of something. we race in a fast pace life and we ought to take the turns quite fast and smooth... we ought to stay in the race... and i am not competitive. the competition is always within myself.
i worked today. it's saturday december 17.
it was a productive day. gave some positive feedback. had a positive attitude that changed the outcome of some situation. laughed out loud... my colleagues are funny.
i am having a glass of white wine.. and you can tell by the coherence of my note. i am all over the place.
and i am content.
conrad is watching a show. i am waiting for dinner... tomorrow is sunday and shawn is having me share my christmas experiences growing up and how we were content with small or no gifts. to put things in perspective for the young generation.
how can we be more appreciative and grateful for what we have, when nothing stops us from having everything? we indulge at the first inkling of desire... in sweets and electronics and clothes...
Friday, December 16, 2011
social
...and only a week later i was part of another work dinner. a bit more fancy, more complex. the entire staff of a small studio, from owner to book keeper. and hey, we managed to have fun, relax, rest and reenergize our spirits. ted is a great leader because of the way he talks to his people and how he builds them up, and sees the positive in them and points it out. sometimes i think he is so successful because he trusts people. one would think that this would work against him. but no. he is very firm and straightforward and he is a dreamer and a hopelessly hopeful person.
Rachel was a riot. she is funny and kind and gracious. she and her husband were cute. and everybody honored everybody else with a gracious presence and communication and god listening skills. Vanessa was great and loved her laughter. she has an accent too. and she is unforgettable with her presence. rick has a lovely girlfriend. and if we had anything in common was a genuine smile and kindness to each other. this could have been awkward and intimidating ...but no. there was no room for such odd feelings. want a great getaway with conrad's company. how awesome is ted. how blessed are we to be surrounded by such people. a while ago we were kind of isolated... and now we have to much of it. of this social life.
Rachel was a riot. she is funny and kind and gracious. she and her husband were cute. and everybody honored everybody else with a gracious presence and communication and god listening skills. Vanessa was great and loved her laughter. she has an accent too. and she is unforgettable with her presence. rick has a lovely girlfriend. and if we had anything in common was a genuine smile and kindness to each other. this could have been awkward and intimidating ...but no. there was no room for such odd feelings. want a great getaway with conrad's company. how awesome is ted. how blessed are we to be surrounded by such people. a while ago we were kind of isolated... and now we have to much of it. of this social life.
Monday, December 12, 2011
dinner with coworkers from Apple
We did it. with no expectations or other worries, we had a tremendously fun night out with three couples from my work. it was the most laid back no trying to impress anybody, start talking about anything from whatever point because you surely won't repeat yourself. everybody was interesting and self-sufficient enough, with great people skills, and similar interests... take conrad for example. he has a lot of passion and knowledge in some particular areas, that unless you share the same passion, it's rather hard to carry a conversation and have fun doing it. well, we found a few nerds that are way too similar to conrad in that respect.
but enough with facts. lets talk fun.
seeing conrad around the same table with my coworkers, and be relaxed and funny and himself, made me fall in love with him all over again. we didn't sit next to our spouses, so i could observe from afar. wow. conrad is pretty hot and funny and interesting.
i always drag him into bible studies and other church events where he is not quite himself. he feels awkward and acts awkward. indeed people at church can be very intense, and have certain expectations, and ...i don't know what it is, but i am more myself around people at work that sometimes around family and church. and its not like i talk or act differently, its how i feel. but i can always make an effort and relax the atmosphere wherever i am. unless i am particularly overwhelmed myself and really can't enjoy the context.
anyway, conrad is so freakin' cool and hot. and it was such a great discovery especially since lately i felt like work and my relationships there compete with how i feel about conrad.
i like my coworkers. some of them i like a lot. but i like them as people. i wouldn't want to date any of them. there are too weird for me, even if i were single, i wouldn't date them. can't get into that lifestyle no matter hoe much i would try it.
how fun! what a breath of fresh air to hang out with my colleagues and enjoy it so much.
in three days we'll go out with conrad's colleagues, over night at cavallo point... and they are fun as well. hmmmm. our social life in not questionable anymore. there was a time when we felt so isolated and spent way too much time with family.
but enough with facts. lets talk fun.
seeing conrad around the same table with my coworkers, and be relaxed and funny and himself, made me fall in love with him all over again. we didn't sit next to our spouses, so i could observe from afar. wow. conrad is pretty hot and funny and interesting.
i always drag him into bible studies and other church events where he is not quite himself. he feels awkward and acts awkward. indeed people at church can be very intense, and have certain expectations, and ...i don't know what it is, but i am more myself around people at work that sometimes around family and church. and its not like i talk or act differently, its how i feel. but i can always make an effort and relax the atmosphere wherever i am. unless i am particularly overwhelmed myself and really can't enjoy the context.
anyway, conrad is so freakin' cool and hot. and it was such a great discovery especially since lately i felt like work and my relationships there compete with how i feel about conrad.
i like my coworkers. some of them i like a lot. but i like them as people. i wouldn't want to date any of them. there are too weird for me, even if i were single, i wouldn't date them. can't get into that lifestyle no matter hoe much i would try it.
how fun! what a breath of fresh air to hang out with my colleagues and enjoy it so much.
in three days we'll go out with conrad's colleagues, over night at cavallo point... and they are fun as well. hmmmm. our social life in not questionable anymore. there was a time when we felt so isolated and spent way too much time with family.
Friday, December 9, 2011
a good day off
I saw Alex today. I am proud and honored to be Alex's friend and to hang out with her.
It has been a full day with lots of errands to run and I even got to say hi to Rob, my former manager...
We talked about life... and with Alex, because she is soft spoken and such a great listener, I always wonder if i talk too much. we talked about good stuff and about heavy stuff... and sometimes that is plain health... to ear our own reflexions on life and not run away screaming. i stopped trying to fix troubles and worry about them. i love listening to my friend and laugh about random silly things. oh, how great it is to have girlfriends!
i went shopping and i didn't die. there is hope for me. i got conrad a gift... a good one. and i got stuff for Luca. 3T... i have been looking for so long for boys clothes.
laundry, cleaning the house, picked up my glasses, food shopping, saw alex, picked up a gift, wrapped some gifts.. such a productive day.
anyway, one good conclusion we drew today, from our experience, is that quality time happens every day, and you ought to make time for it. we can't live in the past not in the future. i am usually the one who lives in the future... but with this lovely job i have, i always live in the present... what a blessing.
december 9 of 2011 was a good day.
It has been a full day with lots of errands to run and I even got to say hi to Rob, my former manager...
We talked about life... and with Alex, because she is soft spoken and such a great listener, I always wonder if i talk too much. we talked about good stuff and about heavy stuff... and sometimes that is plain health... to ear our own reflexions on life and not run away screaming. i stopped trying to fix troubles and worry about them. i love listening to my friend and laugh about random silly things. oh, how great it is to have girlfriends!
i went shopping and i didn't die. there is hope for me. i got conrad a gift... a good one. and i got stuff for Luca. 3T... i have been looking for so long for boys clothes.
laundry, cleaning the house, picked up my glasses, food shopping, saw alex, picked up a gift, wrapped some gifts.. such a productive day.
anyway, one good conclusion we drew today, from our experience, is that quality time happens every day, and you ought to make time for it. we can't live in the past not in the future. i am usually the one who lives in the future... but with this lovely job i have, i always live in the present... what a blessing.
december 9 of 2011 was a good day.
Friday, December 2, 2011
blurb
"I always say what I think and I never get in trouble for it"
I never used to be lie that. I would with my words over and over and think of the consequences f my word a thousand times before I said something. But I remember it being just as hard to say something as to never say a word about something that was truly important to me.
So it took years of practice. And I feel the burden of the words for a long time before I speak up... but I am never sorry for what I say... and a good outcome will unfold.
Its a awesome quality to have in business. I never carry burdens for too long. I think this is a gift from my mom. She could never be passive and not say hat needed to be said, but I believe I have refined her gift in me, and I was lucky enough t observe her from outside and learn fast on how I could improve my own self, and make whatever God entrusted me with into a gift not a fault.
I often think of what I would say to my peers, about work and about how they could make the best of it and of themselves. And I rarely speak up. It doesn't seem like that maybe, but the ratio between all the thoughts that cross my mind and the few words that do make it out is discrepant. Maybe and most likely,what never makes it out wasn't meant to be heard to begin with.
Know your resources. be motivated. be enthusiastic, enjoy your work, serve. serve. serve. and do it with a smile. be smart. learn from others. be kind. be appreciative. stay positive and again: enjoy what you do. stop doing what you do if you don't enjoy it anymore. but stop only after you have exhausted all your resources of making your job fun and interesting. reinvent yourself. get a fresh perspective over what you do. stay free. be free. free from resentment and from fear. fear that what you do and what you are is not enough. look people in the eye. and be yourself. a refined yourself. a yourself that you would like to be around too.
I never used to be lie that. I would with my words over and over and think of the consequences f my word a thousand times before I said something. But I remember it being just as hard to say something as to never say a word about something that was truly important to me.
So it took years of practice. And I feel the burden of the words for a long time before I speak up... but I am never sorry for what I say... and a good outcome will unfold.
Its a awesome quality to have in business. I never carry burdens for too long. I think this is a gift from my mom. She could never be passive and not say hat needed to be said, but I believe I have refined her gift in me, and I was lucky enough t observe her from outside and learn fast on how I could improve my own self, and make whatever God entrusted me with into a gift not a fault.
I often think of what I would say to my peers, about work and about how they could make the best of it and of themselves. And I rarely speak up. It doesn't seem like that maybe, but the ratio between all the thoughts that cross my mind and the few words that do make it out is discrepant. Maybe and most likely,what never makes it out wasn't meant to be heard to begin with.
Know your resources. be motivated. be enthusiastic, enjoy your work, serve. serve. serve. and do it with a smile. be smart. learn from others. be kind. be appreciative. stay positive and again: enjoy what you do. stop doing what you do if you don't enjoy it anymore. but stop only after you have exhausted all your resources of making your job fun and interesting. reinvent yourself. get a fresh perspective over what you do. stay free. be free. free from resentment and from fear. fear that what you do and what you are is not enough. look people in the eye. and be yourself. a refined yourself. a yourself that you would like to be around too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)