Assessment

I am rebellious, stubborn, courageous, inquisitive, creative, giggly, defying, independent, chic, graceful in adapting to new cultures and contexts, smart, definitely smart and humble. I know who I am, and what my purpose is in the world. I speak up and i respect silence. 

Women in the world. Women in Romania, women in America. 
I am reading a delicious, challenging book called "half the church".
And right now it talk about Ezer, the name God called the first woman, as a helper of the first man. The suitable helper. And the definitions of this word in different contexts of the bible, in the old testament. And how it is used as a army term, and god called himself the Ezer of Israel, as he came to it's rescue from the enemies. Strong helper. 
That is how I feel fir Conrad. His companion, his strong helper. Te one who loves and challenges him. I am definitely not a dependent, a liability, financial or emotional. we are all gifted in different ways, as women, as men or as couples. 
It scares me how independent I am sometimes. My life happens so much outside of my house, and I knew work will keep my husband and I physically apart, but now my ministry is taking over the little free time I have. I am fulfilled, emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially ... And the little time I still get to spend with Conrad it's wonderful, but I miss him. He is now, on the balcony, on the Pampazon chair, reading. The wind is blowing, and it smells like fall, maybe because of the fog hasn't lifted yet. It's September. 
We just came back from church and I have to leave in an hour to meet with the junior high staffers. I worked yesterday ... All day. 

I am fighting to find a balance in my life: church, work, family, friends, time to be by myself, God...

Next weekend I am in Tahoe, again away from Conrad. Our married life is happy and stable and rich... And yet I always crave for more time with him. There is that nagging feeling that I don't even notice that time flies by, because everything I am involved in is so engaging and fulfilling, but I have been confronted by him, for spending so much time away from him. When half of my weekend is without fail spent at work, and half of Sunday is spent with junior high and church.... 

I am happy and challenged.