I chose to get involved with the junior high ministry because:
I wanted to get out of my own world, which was becoming smaller and narrower by every day I was living selfishly.
A sense of duty
I have been impacted so greatly by selfless leaders that decide to invest wisdom in me and my junior high friends.
A need expressed in a random email I received
Why I kept doing it for a year:
Because every day is different
Because I made a commitment
Because I started to love those girls
Because some days were absolutely irreplaceable
There is no script. You have to go every day, and expect the unexpected. Sometimes amazing things, other time hard things.
I have asked myself: will I continue after these two years, after my girls graduate into 9th grade?
I don't know yet.
I have experienced such a different junior high season. I dealt with things differently.
I am so tempted to withdraw within myself when things get loud. I can't deal with constant loud noise that potentially can be stopped.
I most often feel like I don't fit in or there is no room for me when I am supposed to lead a conversation, but the girls have way to many things to say of course.
I say it once, sometimes I ask twice to stay on track with the topic and not talk over me... but I just can't repeat myself over and over.
Do I even have anything to give, to say, to offer?
My talking only when I have something to say doesn't ay off right away. Or not visibly.
I have seen girls blossom under my own eyes because I let them be, serve by driving, be there anyway because I had no other place to go but camp together, listen, be human, be firm when needed, rarely, when there was no other way.
They love me anyway. It's weird. We meet and the girls are excited to see me. I just show up. I often still wonder: what am I doing here? What is my role in this mambo-jumbo?
I love them too. In a weird frustrating corky journey I decided to go with them on... for at least two years.
Maybe a decision will be made for me... due to circumstances.
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