and why i didn't until i discovered some good teacher, or better said they discovered me.
i remember crying myself to sleep because i was so afraid of domnul tudose. an old man teacher, very severe in his demeanor. but he definitely had his favorites and i wasn't one of them. i didn't dress quite nice, i didn't bring him gifts and i was shy. that was the recipe for failure in his books. this stubbornness started to develop in me. i was going to prove him wrong one day. i stopped seeking his approval. i studied hard. i was never an a student. but i always did my homework and i did my best in class.
he gave us tons of homework. every day. i liked that about him. i craved for fair teachers, for demanding teachers, for teachers that pushed us and believed in us. it puzzles me that to this day we accept easier the hard work an athlete has to go through and even regular people work hard to maintain their body health, but they neglect their mind's health. who said its going to be easy to develop your mind? it's like pushups, like marathon training, like sit-ups. shish!
the school system in US is a business. i went to a public school in romania. they are all public schools. and i don't think my agents worried that much about how i'll turn out. they believed in me. and they didn't cut me any slack... except i became so responsible from time to time my parents would say: maybe you should stay home today if you are not feeling too good. or, take a break from studying so much. there must be something wrong with that picture. but i learned to fight my own battles. and i always thought that my parents can't have much of a say in how hard i work or study. they are not the ones who will answer to my teachers. i am.
and i had one teacher in particular. my chemistry teacher in JH. no excuses could fly for him. "why don't you know your lesson for today?" ...my dog ate my notes, my grandma got sick, the lights went out yesterday... nothing would fly. and then. in high school my physics teacher would listen to what excuse you would offer him, keep a few 20 seconds of silence and then say: listen to what you just said to me. and think about what it... we were always lame. for the most part they were strict and demanding and pushing us to the limit. and integrity and unchangeability were things they taught me...
they mocked me when i first transferred to this elite public high school. my physics teacher made me stand up, me and another colleague who transferred. and asked us why were we there for. didn't think how nerdy i would sound but that was the honest through. i said i came to this high school to study. he didn't say anything back. my colleague said she came because she lives just across the street. he mocked her for that answer. i got my fair share of 2 and 3 grades... oh boy! but then my last two years i finished school with 9 and 10.
i loved the challenge.
nobody wants constant approval. what the heck are we supposed to do with constant applause. prizes for participation... that will be the end of us and the school system. excessive kindness... or lack of fair confrontation and challenge. kids have the power to be disrespectful and defying ...because they are never told or taught otherwise. homeschooling is not an option for my kids even though i think i would be a good teacher. but then also paying thousands of dollars for somebody else to teach my kids the word of the day. for peet's sake! i speak several languages and i didn't have to pay any extra money to do so. we are overloaded with possibilities and financial opportunities, with freedom of speech and unlimited access to information and technology and it's all turning against us... we are letting ourselves go... mentally spiritually emotionally. we are not taking charge of who we are and what is our purpose in the world. granted we are more concerned about how we look... and we put in a little more effort in that. but lets be honest, we leave our house with ought talking a last look in the mirror.. kids and adults walking around in pajamas and leggings and unfitting clothes. so i guess no, the majority of us don't care how we look either.
discipline is a long lost concept and word. i remember hearing it every freakin' day at school and at home. funny enough it's spelled almost identical in romanian.
not everything has to be catered to you in a fun way, you can make it fun. you can discover the un in everything you do... heck, not everything has to be fun to be satisfying and fulfilling.
i 6th grade my teacher gave us to solve a whole book of mathematica problems. hundreds upon hundreds. i did a few every day... and i finished the book by the end of the summer. my parents here knew about it. i learned a lot without trying too hard. it's a matter of will and decision to do something.
so bottom line is, what am i going to do when i'll have to send my kids to school? the school system in romania has changed a lot ... for the worse as far as i hear. maybe its fabricated stuff... media exaggerates as well. who knows. nothing is black and white. i just hope we will all take responsibility for who we are and what we do with our lives and stop blaming everybody else for our lack of motivation, happiness, fulfillment, intelligence...
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