I think of things - Abraham's story and journey

Today, during Shawn’s sermon I wanted to pull my phone up and start writing a note.
He talks about Abraham and his journey of learning to trust God. From the moment e leave Ur, away from his cousin Lot. And he travels, guided by God, along with his wife Sara. And How he worships God along the way. And God takes care of him. And how he reaches Canaan, and worships God there, but the famine came and he goes to Egypt, not led by God but led by his hunger. And then. led by fear, he makes Sara lie, and say she is his Sister so the Faro won’t kill him. But it turns out, God doesn’t like this lie. And instead of punishing Abraham, he punishes the Faro, killing his stock. Then Abraham confesses that he did lie, and Sara, who was made Faro’s wife, now returns to Abraham, so God would not punish the Faro anymore.

God promised Abraham that he will bless the nations through his seed. but he was getting old, and so was his wife. He trusted God, but time was passing. It’s hard to wait on God. So hard. Eventually, the three angels also make it clear that he will have a son, and Sara laughs. Laughs at the though that she, and old lady will have a son.

In the mean time, impatience pushes Sara to make a rash decision, and give his servant to procreate with Abraham. This is how Ishmael is born, the father of Irak Iran, the countries always fighting with Israel, ever since.

When eventually God gives Abraham a son, Isaac, God asks for him as a sacrifice, on the Moria mountain. And Abraham, obeys. He travels 50 miles with his son carrying his wood needed for the sacrifice, just like Jesus carrying his Cross.

As I was listening to Shawn today, it crossed my mind that God sometimes invites us to sacrifice our idols. Before sacrificing his son, Abraham sacrificed his idol in his heart. He was ready to give it up to God, so he didn’t have to lose his son after all.

I am not in the business of guessing Gods plan, even though, at times, I admit, it is tempting. I know him well enough I think, to estimate his next move, to think of what he thinks, and I know very well that this is one arrogant move. I don’t dwell on it.

We have our idols and ideals and hopes, and just like the old saying, you find what you are looking for when you give up looking, because you finally have the time to see rather than squinting at your idea of dream or of a plan.

lunch with halie and my new haircut

Flori de ziua parintilor... si schimbari in casa

Azi mi-am spus povestea

Azi mi-am spus poveste. un rezumat mai bine zis. Am avut scena doar pentru mine. Dar am spus doar un pic din cine sunt eu. Relevant pentru audienta. Am vorbit despre un eveniment important la 12 ani, cand m-am intors de la munte, chiar inainte de craciun, tabara cu Leonte, unde eu eram unul dintre cei mai tineri participanti. M-am intors acasa, si tata pregatea un porc, mai bne zis imparte carnea pe pachete, mamaera la lucru, Dani era la Cluj... si eu ma simteam teribil de singura. Partasia cu fratii din tabara mi-a lasat in minte un gand cald, despre omniprezenta lui Dumnezeu. Nu voiam sa mai fiu singura. Eram insetata sa il simt pe Dumnezeu prezent, nu doar pe moment. Il vroiam ca o prezenta constanta in viata mea. Stiam ca viata mea nu ii sfanta. Inca ma mai mustra constiinta pentru cel ou de pasti furat de la matusa (era frumos colorat). Mi l-ar fi dat cu drag daca il ceream. Nu stiu ce-mi veni sa fur un ou. Am furat bani de la tata, ca sa imi cumpar dulciuri, ciocolata si banane. Daca ii ceream imi dadea. Am frut dar sa iau eu cu mana mea. Oricum, una peste alta, m-a mustrat constiinta teribil, desi lucrurile acestea le-am facut cand aveam doar 6 ani - 8 ani. In noaptea aceea am adormit plangand, rugandu-ma fierbinte. Rugandu-l Pe Dumnezeu sa ma ierte de tot ce am gresit si sa nu stea la distanta de mine din cauza pacatelor mele. L-am sitit atunci pe Dumnezeu ma prezent ca niciodata. Ma uit in urma si cred ca sinceritatea mea totala fata de Dumnezeu, a facut loc pentru prezenta lui. Asa mi-am predat eu viata domnului. si calatoria mea impreuna cu el a inceput.

Pentru 10 minute au facut linite cu totii, au stat si au ascultat, vocea mea era clara si limpede. Copiii astia ma indragesc, si la fel si eu pe ei. Stiu prea bine cum ne creste indragirea cuiva pe masura ce ii cunoastem mai bine. si ziua de azi a pecetluit pentru multa vreme relatia mea cu ei. Domnul sa ma ajute sa continui sa-i slujesc dupa voia Lui, sa Il reprezint cu cinste.


O alta parte a povestii mele are legatura cu scoala. cu frica de profesorii severi care ne-au disciplinat prin metode mai putin ortodoxe. Tipatul la noi, lovitul cand eram in scoala primara. din fericire au am primit doar la palma, si nu in cap. domnul invatator tudose ne punea sa inconuram clasa in genuchi daca nu ne faceam temele cum trebuie. profesrii de franceza, de fizica de chimie, de mate, ... de teroare. cu cat erau mai severi cu ata ma incapatanam mai tare sa rezist. dar stiam ca doar pe propriile puteri nu le pot face fata. si in fiecare zi, cu cereri fierbinti il rugam pe Dumnezeu sa nu ma lase singura. sa imi dea curaj. sa imi dea intelepciune sa fac ce e bine, sa imi dea claritate si sa ma ajute sa reproduc in lucrari ceea ce am invatat din greu. eu imi faceam partea cu constiinciozitate, si il rugam pe dumnezeu sa faca restul. m-am alipit cu ardoare de tatal, si am calatorit cu el prin liceu. m-am rugat lui prin psalmi. Cartea psalmilor e preferata mea.
Pot totul in Hristos care ma intareste. O mie sa cada alaturi de mine si zece mii la drapta mea dar de mine nu se voar atinge caci tu esti cu mine. Dumnezeu ostirilor este de partea mea, ce poate sa-mi faca omul?, Toti cei ce nadajduiesc in tine nu vor fi dati de rusine, Nadajduieste in Domnul, fii taere si imbarbateaza-ti inima. Nadajduieste in Domnul, Ferice de omul care se increde in El... daca citesti Psalmii, pe absolut fiecare pagina vine vorba despre increderea in Domnul. si cum el este credincios fata de noi.

Orice face, sa facem ca pentru Domnul. sa traim din plin pentru El, cu curaj si bucurie. Cu pasiune pentru Cer. Liberi si plini de curaj.

Dinner after 9:30 PM ...after work

Conrad waited for me, with a bottle of red and warm yummy dinner

Cellar Door Community dinner in ants Cruz - August 2011

day of rest, doing what I like

Busy day, thinking about my story, about what I am going to say to the junior high on Sunday morning.
Today I did laundry, I cleaned, I rested, I watched mad men, and most importantly I painted. It didn't come out well. And I'm not a perfectionist. It's a big painting, but I had fun doing.
I went swimming, I started cooking dinner... And here I am, waiting for conrad to get home.

I am boring. Nothing I say sounds good. I don't think about what I say. I just spill it out and I take it off my chest. It feels good. just like painting.




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